Violence in relationships occurrs when one person feel entitled to power and control over their partner and chooses to use abuse to gain and maintain that control. In relationships were domestic violence exists, violence is not equal. Even if the victim fights back or instigates violence in an effort to diffuse a situation. There is always one person who is the primary, constant source of power, control, and abuse in the relationship. Destroy the idea that men should respect women because we are daughters, mothers, and sisters. Reinforce the idea that men should respect women because we are people.
Violence is not merely killing another. It is violence when we use sharp words, when we make a gesture to brush away a person, when we obey because there is a fear. So violence isn’t merely organized but clearly in the name of God, in the name of society or country, Violence is much more subtle, much deeper, and we are inquiring into the very depth of violence. There are some people out there who enjoy breaking down and damaging souls. It validates them and makes them feel powerful and alive.
Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten. We want a society in which every woman makes free decisions about her life and fully enjoys her rights and freedoms, free from violence and discriminations. “Woman feel more guilty than Men. Not because of some weird chromosonal issue but because they have a history of being blamed for other people’s behavior. You get hit, you must have annoyed someone; you get raped, you must have excited someone; your kid is a junkie, you must have brought him up wrong” Society teaches women to feel guilty.
Do you know a woman who has left a toxic or abusive relationship? Are you curious about how she is going? Have you ever assumed things are all fine how she has left? We all have our social face, and often we don’t show the world what is going on. Afterall, we have been trained to be selfless, be overly responsible, and look after others needs, whether it was last weeks or years ago, whether it was a long relationship or a brief relationship.
“Even in the times of trauma, we try to maintain a sense of normality until we no longer can. That is called surviving. Not healing. We never become whole again. . . We are survivors. If we are here today we are a survivors. But those of us who have made it through hell and still standing You bare a different name; Warriors”. There is no shame in being a survivor of domestic violence. The abusers should wear all the shame. The voice we have been given is a blessing, and is the most powerful tool we have as humans. Staying silent is never an option. Learn to let go.
Why is it that we don’t love ourselves enough to walk away from the mistreatment that we receive in a harcissistic relationship. It will never get better the only thing that will happen is the slow methodical breakdown of us as a person and we will be left as a shell. Now is the time to leave. Don’t wait another day. You are good enough. You are brave enough. You are strong enough.